5 Reframes That Unleash More Confidence in Savvy Women Business Owners

Mar 17, 2024 | First Person

By Alicia Parr, founder of Performentor and member of NAWBO Greater Raleigh

What if you could flip a crappy situation on its head and come out on top? Imagine having the power to reshape how you see things—turning negatives into opportunities.

That power is reframing.

Let’s dive into five game-changing reframes that’ll fire up your confidence. Instead of dwelling on setbacks, you start seeing them as stepping stones to success. Suddenly, obstacles become fuel for your fire, propelling you toward your goals. Let’s get started.

REFRAME #1 – What have they got that I don’t? Nothing. That’s what.

Have you ever wondered why you’re not where you want to be? Stop blaming it on imposter syndrome—that’s a dead-end excuse. Admit it, when you say “imposter syndrome,” you’re basically calling yourself a fraud. Not on purpose! But pay close attention to what you’re saying to your inner self when you use that phrase.

Who needs that negativity? Not you.

So, let’s ditch the labels and self-doubt. Next time you see someone succeeding, ask yourself what they have that you don’t. Because guess what? They’ve got nothing on you.

I’m not saying you can go from couch potato to Olympic athlete overnight. And no, you won’t become a coding genius in a week by thinking magic thoughts.

But leadership? Confidence? Strength?

Those you CAN do. Picture leaders who lead with confidence and strength. That can be you. Go after it.

REFRAME #2 – When men interrupt you, that’s actually a sign of respect.

I bet you’ve been interrupted by a guy and felt like throwing something. Annoying, right?

Plot twist: It might not be that bad. Men tend to operate in the arena of status. Interrupting each other is common practice—like a handshake. It’s not hostility; it’s just guys being guys, jockeying for position.

By interrupting you, they see you as a contender. Sure, it’s irksome when someone cuts you off mid-sentence, but here’s a different perspective. What if it isn’t a slight? Instead, it’s a nod of respect, an invitation into the ring of banter and a sign that your voice carries weight.

Yes, sometimes it’s not about respect; it’s just plain rudeness. When that happens, don’t get knocked down. Flip the script. Take it as a compliment, a recognition of your worth. Because the truth is that confident women don’t need special treatment. We earn our stripes in the rough-and-tumble of conversation…interruptions and all. And YOU are a confident woman.

REFRAME #3 – Don’t answer fake questions. Respond to the REAL question. The underlying emotion question.

What does this mean? When someone throws an emotion-tinged question your way, don’t just take it at face value. Often, they’re not asking what they really want to know.

If you feel yourself getting defensive, that’s your cue to dig deeper. Don’t just answer the fake question; address the real one lurking beneath—usually fueled by some kind of fear. That’s where the real conversation happens.

I live by this reframe, especially when things start feeling a tad adversarial. Skip over the who’s right vs. wrong angle. Let’s find common ground beyond all the emotional noise. That’s where the magic lives.

REFRAME #4 – Saying “I could be wrong” with self-assurance projects credibility.

Why pretend to be superhuman when nobody can know everything? Embrace the power of admitting, “I don’t know.” Confidently saying “I could be wrong” is a major key to building credibility.

Learning to use qualifiers like “I could be wrong, but I sensed” or “this thought popped into my head so I wanted to share it” not only preserves dignity but also invites a shift from disagreement to agreement. It’s about making everyone smarter, including yourself. Let’s embrace the humility of uncertainty. That’s what confident women do.

REFRAME #5 – They’re more afraid of you than you are of them.

Ever heard “They’re more afraid of you than you are of them?” Snakes, right? But what if it applies to male-female relations, too? Think about it. Do guys really get what drives women? Often, they are clueless. Every honest guy will admit it.

Here’s the kicker: You’re not the victim. Neither are the guys

We’re all a little afraid of failing to measure up. Take the positive sum approach where we all win more by winning together. This isn’t a zero-sum game where one wins at the other’s expense.

By consistently seeking mutual benefit, we tap into real power instead of gender games that posit women against men and vice versa. Confidence blossoms when we work to win together.

Make it happen, sisters!


About the Author…

Alicia is the innovative founder of Performentor, revolutionizing HR with 20 years of experience and a behavior science-based approach tailored for small businesses. As a visionary, she excels in creating learning cultures, fostering a growth mindset and guiding high-performing teams. An accomplished executive coach, Alicia applies her deep knowledge in psychology, marketing and mass communication to empower business leaders. She developed a unique operating model, Unleash People Energy™, that reframes the definition of a business as the conversion of people energy into economic value. With an enduring passion for understanding human performance and an impressive record as an endurance athlete, Alicia embodies the spirit of a disruptive leader, dedicated to shaping the future of human resource management. Learn more here.

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